About this Website and the Writer

Sebastian Valmont is a writer, critic, photographer and traveler that writes when he is able to- between work shifts and the mundanity of everyday life.

Site Mantra

There are three guiding principles to this website: no deadlines, no ads and no bosses.

Throughout the years I have attempted to start a website. At first I wanted it to be an archive of my fiction writing, then a review site for movies and video games, then an artsy-pretentious experimental art page. I've gone through a lot of phases in my youth, and eventually the energy and novelty wears off. I let the domain expire, and never mention the site again. I never thought I would start a website and keep up with it, and this is my last shot at it. My mantra of no deadlines, no ads and no bosses backs this up- there is no expectation of writing a set amount of articles every month and in return, there are no ads to clog up your page. I don't care to make any money off of this website- if it ever becomes so cumbersome and expensive that it negatively affects my life, I will simply say goodbye and leave the archives up for all eternity. I am not a clout demon- feedback is welcome, but I am not interested in becoming super famous and will not sacrifice the quality of my work.

Grading Style

Our favorite critics all have preferences and writing styles. My preferences favor technical prowess, production quality, entertainment value, excellent writing and believable acting. This means that the vast majority of films I watch are produced by major studios or have been released by a notable label- I certainly do watch more obscure or "arthouse" content, but I find that many are disappointing or grossly overrated. Since time is so limited and there are many things I like to do besides watch movies or play video games, I am very selective about what media I consume. Each section under "Reviews" on my site will have a general grading criteria to give the reader a better understanding of where I come from when grading.

Questions? Always feel free to ask!

Please send an email to valmontenterprises@gmail.com with any questions, concerns or inquiries!

Inspirations and Recommendations

These are websites that have influenced and entertained me throughout the years. Some are regularly updated, some are dormant or even extinct. I hope they entertain you as much as they entertained me.

The West Virginia Surf Report: A comedy site that started as a zine back in the 1980's- ran by Jeff Kay who shares his experience of being a middle aged dad in suburban Pennsylvania. Super hilarious, especially the stories about "Nancy" and "Nostrils."

I-Mockery: No longer updated due to the webmaster's wife passing away. This is the website that got me into retro gaming, movies and web design. Another site that spun off from a zine, and there are over twenty years of content hosted on here.